Infatuation
by pandadude
Summary: There are some things that aren't meant to be repeated; those that aren't meant to be thought; some that are not meant to be remembered; and some things that aren't meant to be dreamed. But most of all, silly infatuations are best kept to oneself.


**Infatuation: Secrets of the Soul**

_Who could forget the famed Harry Potter? I remembered his sorting vividly, although I'm fairly sure that everyone couldn't quite forget Harry Potter's first appearance that easily. Even now the boy who defeated the Dark Lord tended to leave an impact wherever he went. Staring at him, I recalled the night when Harry Potter entered Hogwarts. ___

_At first, the sorting was another long list of unknown names and a line of first years looking frightened out of their wits. However when Professor McGonagall called out his name, "Potter, Harry," I remembered the Hufflepuff table burst into a fit of hushed whispers. Spreading like wildfire, the barely contained voices rose up from all the Houses. ___

_"Harry…Potter…is it him? Is it him? I see the scar! It's him! Oh my gosh, are you serious? Yes…dead serious." The fifth years a few seats down whispered loudly as I craned my neck to see him. ___

_He walked past the aisle separating us Hufflepuffs and the Gryffindors. His hair was messy, black and untidy. Tiny and scrawny would have been two words to describe him. I didn't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that. Compared to the hero and savior that the Ministry and Daily Prophet described him as, he looked undernourished and frightened beyond his wits. ___

_Turning back to the food on my plate I chewed thoughtfully as I kept my eye on the Sorting Hat and the boy wearing it. Before I had swallowed the morsel in my mouth the Sorting Hat bellowed, "GRYFFINDOR."_

-----------------------

"Cedric, Cedric…CEDRIC!" I was drawn out of my thoughts and I steered my glance away from the Gryffindors and turned to the girl next to me. Stella Cordell was staring at me with a look of curiosity mixed with annoyance. My girlfriend was a strong woman, intelligent, highly opinionated, and beautiful beyond belief. Her delicate curls cascaded down her back, speckles of gold and yellow in her light brown hair. High cheekbones, fair skin, and large green-blue eyes with long lashes where some of her notable features, but oddly enough, I adored the little mole behind her right ear.

"What are you thinking about Cedric? Are you nervous about the Triwizard Tournament? I know all of us want you to enter, but don't push yourself to do it just because everyone in the house wants you to." Stella's voice was laced with worry and a hint of amusement as she reached for her goblet of pumpkin juice.

A smiled played on my lips as I responded, "Don't worry Stella, I want to, my name's already entered anyways. So even if you tried your hardest you wouldn't be able to stop me," she rolled her eyes and I grinned and continued, "It will make Mum and Dad proud and it's an opportunity of a lifetime. Just tell everyone not to get their hopes up; the goblet could pick anyone at Hogwarts."

"Oh Cedric, your so modest. I know that's all what being a Hufflepuff is about, but do you need to make the rest of us look so bad?" she smirked at this and the tone of playfulness in her voice was evident. By the sparkle in her eyes I knew she wanted me to say something to defend the other Hufflepuff's morals. She knew me too well and I knew some witty retort would leave me in a position of her advantage.

Avoiding her question, I went for dessert and innocently said, "Try this spotted dick, Ella. It's delicious." She sent me a look that said she knew exactly what I was trying to do, I just grinned back and she rolled her eyes in response. Polishing off the spotted dick on my plate, I wiped my mouth and attempted to stifle a yawn.

"Jeeze, you ate fast. What's the hurry?" Stella turned toward me with a look of curiousity as she glanced back and forth between my empty plate and my mouth. I grinned and lowered my mouth to hers.

Withdrawing, I slowly slid from the seat and jokingly reprimanded her, "Professor McGonagall's homework awaits and I, unlike you, will not be procrastinating…Night, I'll see you at breakfast." She gave me a stare that said she could care less about Transfiguration homework. Stella blew me a kiss and turned back to her food.

I ambled out of the Great Hall and within a few minutes I was finally back in the common room. One of the prefects had tipped off the password, "snuffling poppies," to me on the Express and now in the silence of the common room I relaxed.

Slowly I made my way into the dorms and fell backwards onto my bed. Quidditch posters surrounded the wall, flying images of some of the best Seekers of the century. Opening my Transfiguration book I leafed through the pages, finally reaching the chapter we were supposed to read. Page 124 was the beginning of my enlightenment…

Twenty minutes later I realized the same line had become amazingly familiar as I read it. "In order to transfigure your box correctly your wand movement must be exactly correct, an upward sweep…" After continuing to read that line over and over again, I gave up on the reading assignment. Sighing, I heard the common room filled with activity now, as the students started streaming in by groups.

I decided to sleep early today, I had potions with Snape first thing in the morning and I needed all my rest in order to manage through the lesson. Rolling over I stuffed my head under the pillow as the noises outside my door increased. Thoughts pounded in my head as I started to drift off.

_  
__I was on the Quidditch pitch, it was the first task of the Triwizard Tournament and I was supposed to find the golden snitch. The field was totally empty and I was the only one on it, standing in the middle of it. Mounting my broom I took off in search of the snitch. ___

_Changing direction I steered toward Hogwarts, flying past the windows I saw students and other peculiar things inside. I flew lower, just a few feet off the ground, and I peered into one of the windows. There was Professor Sprout leading a group of fifth years as they dueled a large Devil's Snare that was about 7 feet tall. Astonished, I continued on, swerving upwards to look into the second floor windows. ___

_My eyes widened at the sight before me. The classroom was filled with water; inside there was a school of fish. However, the fishes were peculiar, with the bodies of normal fishes the heads of the fish were those of the second years. Chuckling and amazed at the odd sight I swerved above the large castle and glanced around. Riding up higher, I looked around and while the snitch was nowhere to be found, I saw dark clouds rolling in from the east. ___

_Suddenly, a small figure caught my eye. There was someone on the pitch and I quickly redirected my broom in the direction of the field. The wind battered my face, but perhaps the person on the field could help me find the golden snitch. As I flew closer my eyes widened and I saw her. Stella. My eyes blurred as I tried to keep them open against the bitter wind. Tightening the grip on my broom I sped up and tried to ignore the bitter wind, whipping my robes around.___

_Focusing my vision on Stella I urged my broom faster and let out a small gasp as a red light flashed around her. Now that I was closer to her I saw that she had collapsed on the field, her robes and hair splayed out on the ground where she lay. I quickly landed, dismounted and sprinted toward her. Her crystal blues were wide with fear, an expression of horror plastered on her face. There was a trickle of blood tracing a meandering line across her jaw line. ___

_Hugging her close to me, I felt that the heat had left her body. She was devoid of life and her cold body sent chills down my spine. Fingers trailed themselves across her cheek, stroking affectionately as it hit me that we would never be together again. No more trips to the kitchen, hording food from the generous house-elves, no more rock skipping on the lake, no more before dinner flying, no more study sessions, no more snowball fights… ___

_Tears brimmed at my eyes and I held her closer to me. Shaking as the wind, a bone chilling gust, picked up I heard a cry of help from the school. Tilting my head I strained my ears, and though fainter, I heard the scream again. Carefully picking Stella up, I brushed some dirt of her face and picked out some leaves in her hair. I lifted her to my broom and placed her carefully on it, then mounted.___

_We were off in the air, and I gripped her tighter to make sure she wouldn't fall off. Landing by the school, I picked Stella up again, sprinting, I took off to the infirmary. No one was in the school, it was totally deserted. Madam Pomfrey never left for long, so I set her in an empty bed. Staring down at her I had a feeling this would be the last time I ever saw her. I bent down and my lips touched her cold forehead as I heard the shout of pain again. ___

_Chancing one last glance, I inclined my head back to look at her then ran out of the infirmary. Looking left to right I saw that the halls were still eerily empty. The scream rang through the halls, loud and clear. It was gut wrenching, a yell of pure torture, pain, a horrible sound that ripped ones heart out. Following the noise I dashed down the next corridor. Suddenly, a wave of black enveloped me as a darkness encased me and the corridor in its depths.___

_Withdrawing my wand from my robes I muttered, "lumos" and a golden glow perforated the darkness. I saw a pathway ahead of me, following it I wondered where I was, for this certainly was no part of Hogwarts I had ever explored. A deafening silence filled my ears as the screaming had momentarily stopped. However as I stepped forward the torturous cry came back, louder and more agonizing as ever. ___

_My forward progress had brought me in front of a grand mahogany door. I reached for the black handle as the source of the screams seemed to be behind inside the room which the door was closing off. Once my hand came in contact with the metal I felt my insides flip-flop as I seemed to have tumbled upside down. Falling, I was falling down…there were a mirage of colors, blue, yellow, orange, and red. Letting out a yell, I landed on the ground feeling as if my spine had snapped in half.___

_Rubbing my eyes, I cringed at the pain in my back and observed my surroundings. The room I was in was plain white; the walls, floor, and ceiling were all colorless. Shutting my eyes tight, the colors came back and I wondered if I had gone crazy…___

_"Ah, Diggory, you've arrived."___

_I leapt to my feet and spun around. There before me was Harry Potter himself. He was wearing blue dress robes, black pants, and a white dress shirt rather than the standard Hogwarts uniform. His hair was in a rumpled disarray and he wasn't wearing his glasses. As my lips formed the words of response, I realized there was one fatal error. No sound came out.___

_My eyes widened in horror as I continued to try and speak. It was to no avail and I sat there devastated and mute as Harry drew closer. Slowly, I collapsed to the ground, crumpling in distraught. What would Mum and Dad think of this?___

_I squeezed my eyes shut, this was all an illusion…when I open my eyes I will be in my bed, but when I my eyes opened I was met by the gaze of a pair of stunning green iris'. Gasping, I slid backwards and felt my backside touch the wall.___

_Cornered.___

_Feeling for my wand I realized it was not with me and my eyes grew large as Potter withdrew my wand from his robes. I uttered a soundless gasp as I saw him snap it in half. Merlin… Smirking he advanced toward me and I looked for a possible getaway. Faster than a blink of an eye, Harry was in front of me, pinning me against the wall. ___

_He grasped my jaw and forced our eyes to meet. The last thing I wanted to do was to have to look into his emerald greens, they seemed to search my soul in a most uncomfortable way. I was breathing hard, more out of fear of what he was going to do than out of my own physical exertion. ___

_Suddenly, Harry seemed too close. His face was a mere inch away from mine and the position which he had me pinned in was extremely awkward. There was an odd compelling within me as I stared at his chiseled features: a strong jaw line, defined and masculine, sparkling emerald green eyes, full pink lips, the red jagged scar on his forehead even. As he still held my gaze, I saw my own image reflected in his eyes. ___

_Knowing he would redirect my gaze to him, I closed my eyes.I wished he would back off. Unknown emotions coursed through my body as seconds that felt like hours rolled by. Suddenly, I felt moist lips contact my own. My eyes shot open. Thousands of thoughts and emotions were running through my head. I knew this was so wrong, but I was like a starved man and this was my ten-course feast. Tingling sensations ran through my fingers and the guilt of the situation was banished to the back of my mind. My senses overloaded. All I could feel was _**_pleasure_**__

_I had reached nirvana; whatever one would call it. My eyelashes fluttered as his hands danced fire on my back. The passion between us was intense. Animalistic reactions seemed to take over. My hands moved on auto-pilot as they roamed over his body. A sheen of sweat had formed on my forehead and back. There was an intense heat between our bodies and the air flushed into my lungs in gulps. This was heaven; this was love. ___

**_Love_**_...As if I had just realized my sin, I quickly ripped my lips off his. Shoving Harry backwards I stood up and grabbed my wand from him. Without a look back, I fled. I was running; running away from Harry and all the emotions he brought with him. Voices echoed through my head.___

_"You are an abomination! You are not my son! Be gone!" ___

_"But, Cedric…I thought…I thought you loved me! I can't believe your...your...cheating; your...morals; my love...do they mean...nothing to you?! Nothing? ..."___

_"Oh Cedric, the values your father and I have instilled. Are they worth anything? Cedric…"___

_Voices…the voices…they echoed through my head, pounding incessantly. My temple throbbed with just the effort to walk. I collapsed on the ground. The voices still echoed, repeating the strings of words over and over again. Mother, Father...Stella; the voices were no longer a whispered chant as the sounds exploded in my head. I writhed on the ground. There was an indescribable pain that took over my body . My eyes shot open. A horrible fire was running through my body, but the one thing that seemed to be registering in my mind were the pair of green eyes that were looking down at me. Emerald green... _

I woke up with a start, my eyes wide with a mixture of utmost surprise and astonishment. My body was sweat soaked and the sheets were tangled between my legs. Raking my hand through my hair, I decided not to think of the dream I had just had.

Jogging into the bathroom I monotonously went through my daily routine: shower, brush teeth, comb hair, go to breakfast. Annoyingly my bottom lip was bleeding slightly, as each time I thought of the dream I immediately bit my lower lip in order to banish the thought. Walking to the Great Hall, I had a feeling that my lip would be swollen by the end of today.

I was early and I was surprised the see Stella already there, she almost always comes in mid-way through. A flash of last nights dream crossed my mind but I leaned down to meet her mouth and the image was gone. She raised an eyebrow at me, but she could read me so well, she knew I didn't want to talk now. Letting out a breath I took a sip from my goblet, almost choking on the liquid as I saw who walked in alone…

_  
__Harry Potter_

He had his glasses on and his hair was tousled. It was frightening how he looked the exact same as he did in the dream. The features, while not quite visible from this distance, they were crystal clear in my thoughts. Staring at him I thought of the brief contact that had felt so…that had felt like…everything it wasn't supposed to feel like.

"Cedric. Cedric…you've been zoning out so much lately, are you alright?" Stella's quiet and concerned voice broke through. And as if I had exited from a trance, I whipped my head around and gave her a small smile.

Kissing her again, I felt the little images dance their way into the shadows of my mind. "Nothing's wrong, just some thoughts, nothing you need to worry about," I murmured into her hair, "Let's just eat, breakfast smells brilliant." Sending one last glance at the boy who haunted my thoughts, I had a feeling that such things did not tend to be gone for long…

_There are some things that aren't meant to be repeated; those that aren't meant to be thought; some that are not meant to be remembered; and some things that aren't meant to be dreamed. But most of all, silly infatuations are best kept to oneself._


End file.
